How not to keep your man

I just read a post dated Wednesday, February 21,2007 in http://anijawife.blogspot.com and left the following comment.

The heart of the King is in God's hands..He turns it where he wants it to go. Contrast it with, Choose you this day whom you'd serve; all are paraphrases from the Bible.

Inasmuch as God has tuned His ear to your friend's prayers, remember her husband has free will which is his God given right and he is exercising it. God is not a magician people. Forget home videos where it's like 'abracadabra' and the man starts, like a zombie, caring for his wife and family. This is real life! He is having the time of his life while your friend's youth as time goes on is disappearing. Her breasts can only go further south and he'll always find other pretty young things to cheer him up while your friend wallows in self pity. There is nothing romantic about a whining, 'trying to make me feel guilty' wife. Tell her to strip before a mirror. What will she see at her age. A beautiful firm body, enough to mesmerise her man, something to blow his brains out when they make love and sure to keep him running home for more. If he cant appreciate what he's got now, who is to say he'll stay the whole hog with her (until death do us part). She hasn't even begun to have kids. I'm so angry.

Add this to the mix, there's HIV out there. Why do we as naija women refuse to demand faithfulness from our men. I get really sick because it's a disease we are all infected with from childhood. I'll tell you a story of my cousin. He had so many affairs he stopped hiding them from his wife. She complained and finally spoke to my auntie (his mum) about it. Come and see drama, my aunt warned her that did she (his wife) think his pe--s was made for only her, that her son was an only child and his wife should not expect to be able to give her the number of grandchildren she deserves. Hmmmm. Fast forward a few years. Husband and wife are both dead. Yup, full blown Aids and my auntie is left to pick up the pieces of looking after the small grand children, four of them.

I know we are competitive in naija. It's like coming last when all your friends are married and you are not. Your friend probably cant fanthom rocking the boat so her marriage dosent end. I suggest she does, it might make him respect her and change his behaviour leading to a healthier marriage. She should not be afraid of being alone if it comes to that, I'm sure my cousin's wife would have loved to be alive now to raise her kids as she always dreamt.

A long time ago...

The title reminds me of the beginning of Star Wars, it continues....in a galaxy far, far away. It was indeed a long time ago and I was all of 17years old. (Two decades ago!)

My best friend Gina had this huge crush on this hunk of a guy who was an amazing basketballer. Imagine how thrilled she was when he asked her out on a date! In those good old days, we went out with chaperones and I was conscripted. He came to pick us up, not alone but with a friend of his who was not bad looking (our main focus then..)

We had dinner and went for a party and danced and danced and danced. I had such a good time; his friend, John and I connected so well, we talked and I felt like I had known him for ages.

Time to drop us off at school and then the kiss. I can't remember what we talked about but I remember every detail of the kiss. Maybe it's because I was so young and he was the second person I ever kissed but...

I'm on my way back from visiting Naija for christmas and at the airport, someone calls my name; my maiden name. I felt a bit disoriented, hadn't heard that name in over a decade. He then introduces himself, I'm a bit taken aback because I didnt remember him as being so tall. As I looked into his face all I could remember was the kiss. I felt a wave of nostalgia. We made small talk and I made my escape.

I remember him wanting to be my boyfriend. He would call the house, ask for my brother who in turn would pass the phone to me if there was the all clear (no popsie/momsie), for a price of course. We'd talk and talk. I have no clue what we talked about.

As I walked away at the airport, I wondered if he remembered...

Teenage gun crime

It's been in the media, the news that in 12 days, we've had 3 teenagers killed by most likely their peers at point blank range, 2 of them, in their homes.

Most of the talking heads on TV and the opinion pieces seem to suggest there is a correlation between, drugs, organised crime and the relative accessibility of guns; added to the mix, the false bravado that comes from mimicking the gangster rap culture. This instant potpourri sure to implode is a tide difficult to stem because there's a lack of will, on the part of society and the government.

Meanwhile, who drew the line in the sand, saying here and no further regarding drugs and culpability for the attendant criminality? Who decided that we'll go for the traffickers, the varied and many conduits, but ignore the source and the eventual user? I know our society is rooted on 'Individualism' which I subscribe to on a lot of issues but isn’t it about time the reporter who probably just got a high from its use knows that he is invariably linked with the gun crime society is trying to tackle. I do not believe David Cameron should be hounded for what he did at fifteen but isn’t it important for people to realise that whenever they indulge in drugs, they enable the system they claim to abhor.

(I know it is a crime to use drugs but it's obvious the police does not apply its resources to tackle users)

Vultures = 419

I watched newsnight on BBC yesterday and the phenomenon of vultures fascinated me to no end, see link:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/newsnight/6362783.stm

Why are Nigerians the arch stereotypes for all things fraudulent. Not to refute the fact that 419ers are inherently wrong but what's with the glee people assume in condescending to regular Naija folk. How come the world is quick to agree that 'one bad apple dont spoil a whole bunch' when it comes to others and a different set of rules are applied when it comes to Nigerians? My two cents...

Valentines day

Got some sexy lingerie amongst other things for vals day but wont be rocking them as my Homeboy's out of town...aaawww. For those of you out there, dont forget to get your freak on for the one who matters most to you! breathe......

I dey kanmpe

Wo, I hit rock bottom only to surface and find out I'm still alive? or am I not. I go survive.